Laugh at Carlscum thread

[Jezza]

TankingCarlton...

I think this is the most painful game I've ever watched and honestly the closet to being on the verge of tears seeing what's going on, the regression over the past 12 months is unlike anything I've seen.

It's infuriating

A top 8 list being pissed up against the flower wall

I'd say sack the coach but these cauliflower don't deserve the satisfaction of seeing off another coach. Trade everyone.

This club is cursed. We need a witch doctor not a @#$%&! coach.

6 Goals for the entire night and playing against Syd Reserves team

We are an embarrasment to this comp.... Its beyond pathetic that the club president shoves a Pie in our faces and says Voss is going no where until next year!

Get lost you Morons....This club is beyond a Joke!

I think this has done me end ... Abit of a break from the blues for a few weeks I think ...

This is unacceptable on so many levels ...

A massive reset is required for this club .. and I don't think we have the players that can turn it around ...

Everything on the line and we fail the test again ..

Everytime we face adversity we go to water and lose ..

We continually year after year shoot ourselves in the foot - yes let’s get Hardwick as coach we’ll shit on his legacy as well.

There is no saving this club

Time for a very big re think.

Trade McKay.
Trade Weitering.

Get some draft pics now before tassie.

We have been put to the sword by a bottom 4 side tonight. I don't give a @#$%&! what anyone says. Sydney have been putrid for 2 months. We are worse than putrid

Should have reset 2 years

Instead we give 4 year contracts to dud ruckman

AFL may have to step in. We are so bad.

That's it... I am going to Burn my membership tonight.

Oh Wait, i havn't been a member for 20 years, since the day I burnt my last one in 2003 LOL

Getting in early

BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!

Pathetic

Gaaaawwwwnnnnnn

@#$%&! you cauliflower.

Crisis Football Club.

Blow it all up and start again.

Can’t wait for Snapper’s talk back call to 3AW

How do we get worse every week - and next week won't be any different.

That was some of the worst shit I’ve seen and we’ve been shit for a very long time.

Positives: we didn't play Sydney into form, they still look utter turd

Wasted 21 years of my life hoping we’d turn this around.

We’re completely [REDACTED].

Nearly emotionless.

Is it too late to apply for a move to Tassie?

MCKay and Curnow - 1 goal 6 behinds between them

One from one in the tipping.

INEPT
They make me physically ill this mob

I’ll say it again
We are not good enough
It’s not coaching
We have too many average players
They have a crack but in the end lack the ability
It comes down to recruiting
Kids
No late picks
Incredibly bad trades
We have guys on long term contracts
The club has to reset
Voss must change things up
Dow and Binns have to play next week
The Swans were undermanned but in the end won comfortably
How much more evidence do some need to be convinced that our recruiting has been appalling and we are not up to it

Club needs an intervention.

Board needs to go.

We will need to rebuild again.

Basket case.

2 key forwards let us down with set shots .
Same same rubbish every week .
Coaches / players don't learn .

Any nourishment at all from tonight‘s game?

Hahah how Luke Parker kept a straight face then.

Good effort.

Guys, just a friendly reminder.....

The issues we have at this Club has started since 2003. Nothing has been done to fix it.....

Something is just not right.... I think the Boys are running a business not a footy Club.....How can a Club fail to go forward in 20 years? We have done nothing since the team of 95 had ended.

What can we say. There's nothing left to say.

The players have obviously given up on Voss. This is a replica of Voss at Brisbane. Great first season, good start to his 2nd season, then couldn't win a game and turned into one big disaster.

Have to look at blokes who simply don't care enough and move them on. Don't want to win badly enough then don't play. This has been an issue for years and certainly hasn't helped any coach either.

At least I can plan September holidays 3 months out - not like last year, had to wait to wait till last week in August and there were no good deals.

Just disgusting execution. Disgusting coaching. Disgusting effort. We don't work hard enough and we think once we're out of the immediate contest, we've done our bit.

I hate my football club.

The rot started in the Bolton years

This rebuild had no chance

Losing is too easily accepted at this club

We are St Kilda from the 20th century

Start again. I thought we were a middle of the road team. I was wrong. We are worse.

We are the laughing stock of the AFL thanks to voss and the poor standards of football club has

I’m done watching them and no more membership for me

This club is so incredibly [REDACTED], you just wouldn't know where to begin. There is something so wrong. It's rotten to the core. I can't see Voss lasting the season. We're staring down the barrel of losing 9 out of 10 with our only win against a WAFL team from a side that was expected to play finals and push for top 4. The game plan is a disaster. The players have no belief. The club is going backwards at the rate of knots.

It's so depressing

The Rot started in 2004 when the Club cheated all of its supporters by recruiting an Entire team out of Recycled players, thinking they were going to make us finals. The era of Digby Morrel and co!

We never recovered Since !

I’m pretty much done.
No-one is moving ahead of the ball. Therefore no option but to bomb long.
Our game plan in not working.
I don’t believe we have a team full of crap players. Yes, they are playing badly. But I reckon if you’d have offered any coach at the beginning of last year our list or Collingwood’s list, they would have chosen us.
They don’t know what to do and/or they’re broken.
Don’t know where we go from here.

[qldmagpie67]

Next time there’s talk on who should get a statue outside our home base I’m voting for JEZZA
Ok jezza earn that statue publish some blues misery

[Jezza]

BigFooty (Carlton)...

We desperately need to review the ENTIRE culture of the club, going back as far as possible. Club hasn’t been right for decades, despite numerous coaching changes. Blow it up and start again…again.

I thought you guys were blowing it up in 2014-15?

I'm almost out of caring about football, this is such a joyless experience

Malnourished.

This one hurts.

It hurts to watch. I’m just glad it’s over.

I think even the most optimistic of fans have lost hope now, we had every opportunity in the world to win this, yet we simply did what we do best.

Nothing, and I mean nothing is working. The club needs a massive reality check internally.

What an absolute joke this clubs become...just an utter *ing joke from top to bottom.

Im beyond caring at this point. Players dont care, why should we.

Pathetic bunch of losers who wont ever amount to nothing

Looking forward to the creative way Voss keeps Dow out of next weeks side now we've lost several mids to injury.

Not surprised at all lol

It’s like watching us in the early 2000s. You just went to the footy expecting a loss, just not knowing how much by. It’s just so depressing.

Gagf

If Voss uses injuries as an excuse, I will spew up all over my lounge

The writing was on the wall when Cripps fumbled three times in the first quarter. It starts from the top.

#%^@ this club, im done.

Question. How long before I can start following a new club ???.....

Come join us. It's never too late

It was a nice 2 years of semi-competitive football but back to draft watching. Thanks Blues, I knew I could really on you for something.

The year we ‘must make finals’ over by round 11.

Supporting Carlton is like being waterboarded.

It's gone now, Harry must be dropped.

Melbourne, bombers, gold coast, the bye. 4 tough games coming up.

Season on the line... not even one goal in the last quarter...

Just when you thought things couldn't get worse... they say hold my beer.

* this.

The whole team can walk home, we’ll forfeit the reserves & play the ressies in the 1’s.

At least during the rebuild we had hope.

This is what sucks the most. Even during our last 6-7 years I've felt upset when we've lost, never missed a game, etc. but this is the first time I've felt apathetic towards the team.

Voss does not have a strategic bone in his body.

Jesus. Where do we go from here?
I don't think sacking Voss is the answer. It is deeper than that.

This is soul searching sort of stuff for the club now.

We are mediocre.

That's putting mildly

Just replicate all the posts from the previous review threads. Horrible. Gutting. This club is broken right now. They are not connected. They look flat and frustrated. Nothing is working, it looks desperate. Kennedy to half back is dumb when we are dying for some run off half back and have Docherty in the middle. The tall forwards simply didn't compete and the smalls can't get near it. We are the worst transition team in the comp. We can't link up with handballs, we can't hit 45 kicks, we are stagnant, lack any flair or skill. And we can't kick for goal.

Cooked

Time to start cleaning the player list out, they simply don't care.

Negatives- The Carlton football club
Positives- Now being able to watch the remaining games of the year stress free and not giving a *^%*%^ if we win lose or draw. Thank you for killing me on the inside my beloved club.

I want to punch that swan mascot.

‘We did a lot of things right. There were large periods of the game where we played our game and had control of things. It’s all just about continuing to execute for larger periods, which we will continue to work on throughout the season. We back our game style to stand up.’

Don’t need to listen to the presser guys, I’ve already summed it up

Just awful.

The confidence level is completely subterranean.

The commentators called the last quarter 'tense' and an 'arm wrestle'. I called it simply a crap game of football.

Sydney were bad, but we were dreadful.

It's impossible to understand how some highly skilled players have lost their ability to simply hit a target.

I don't know the answers, but they're not simple, and the losing is becoming a habit.

I’m really glad Luke was happy to come out and back everyone at the club, it’s really working wonders.

This is the worst season I’ve had as a 31 year old. We’ve had statistically worse years but for where this team should be, I’ve never been as disappointed or frustrated as what I am now.

I have no words. This football club beat me in 2014 and it has beaten me again in 2023. I’m back to where I was 7-8 years. Completely checked out. I no longer enjoy watching football.

This team can just * right off. Inept, gutless, insipid, heartless. They don't care. Hopefully no ones turns up next week. This team doesn't deserves it.

The reality is we were never going to win a premiership with this list. So we might as well finish down the ladder this year. We need to trade hard and have another go next year or the year after. We need to take a leaf out of Collingwoods book, and trade some big names to get draft picks and move salary cap into another club. Harry Mckay seems obvious to me. He has one very big attribute, but then a whole lot of deficiencies. We're better off getting a solid all rounder (like a Mihocek) and move salary cap out.

Hate to say it but I called this in the preview thread saying that this game was starting to feel like the time during COVID where we played an injury ravaged Eagles but still got torched. That loss led to the review that ultimately sacked Teague.

The team at the moment stands for nothing. No character, no heart, no joy etc.

We are years away

[Jezza]

Snapper's back

https://twitter.com/IncrediblyBozza/sta ... 6926589952

[Skids]

All of this makes that last game win over them last year even better.

They have beaten north, wiggles and gws and an injury depleted geelong in round 2.

6.15 tonight (2.7 in the 2nd half) after 7.15 (3.9 in the 2nd half) the week before... 8.11 the week before that. It's pure bliss, I wish it never stops.

[shawthing]

Great reading Jezza. Trust Voss to stuff it up.

[Ronnie McKeowns boots]

Hahaha

Man, that was a difficult game to watch....but I couldn't bare to look away!

Both coaches need to walk, Horse is as cooked as Voss

[Johnno75]

Since 2000
Prelims: 0
GF: 0
Premierships: 0

Lots of zeros.

If the AFL had a backbone and had stripped them of the 1995 flag they would be on a 36 year premiership drought.

[Pies4shaw]

Not that I have any desire to see them improve their results but I did think they dominated that game for large periods, everywhere except on the scoreboard.

Curnow and McKay were liabilities - Carlton had 22 shots at goal for 7 goals. Of the 22, 6 players only had 1 shot and managed 3 goals between them from their 6. Of the 4 players who had more than one shot at goal, McKay kicked 0 goals from 5 shots, Curnow 1 from 5, Motlop 2 from 4 (and 1 of his 2 goals was cleaning up after Curnow had kicked into the man on the mark from a set shot about 15 m out, directly in front) and Owies 0 from 2. That is, of the 16 shots at goal from Carlton players who had more than 1 shot at goal, they managed just 3 goals.

That's a goal accuracy of just 18.75% amongst the players who had multiple shots at goal.

Summary: "Carlton's offensive work is absolutely outstanding".

[Pies4shaw]

^ To put that into the context of the game, the Swans had 6 players who had multiple shots at goal and, between those 6, a total of 14 shots at goal - they kicked goals with 10 of those 14 shots. In total, the Swans had just 20 shots at goal but goaled with 11 of them, whereas Carlton goaled with just 6 of their 22.

Against us last week, Carlton had 5 players with multiple shots at goal. Those 5 players managed 7 goals from 18 shots. Curnow and McKay also had 10 shots between them in that game - but they managed to kick 5 of those 10 (compared with just 1 from their 10 last night). Of course, Mihocek and Johnson kicking 6 goals from their combined 6 shots in the same game (and 4 other 'pies who nailed each of their sole shots at goal - so that those 6 players between them went 10 from 10) tells you a fair bit about why Carlton keeps losing.

[Ronnie McKeowns boots]

Mate, they are shot in the head, blind freddie can see when the playing group has lost faith in the coaches, and by default, the admin in general.

Reminds me of when Maynard described the Club prior to 2018 as 'a shambles'.

Players know better than anyone.

BTW, does anyone know last time a team won after playing the Pies the week before? (Cats had a fortnight for their prelim)

[BEAMER09]

Like I've been telling my Caaarlton mates last 15-20 years, the only way you gunna win a Grand Final again is to CHEAT!!!

[think better]

This is great reading - puts a smile on my face each time!

[Mr Miyagi]

We broke Carlton

[ANNODAM]

Eating their own, LOVE IT!