Laugh at Carlscum thread

[Pies4shaw]

So, in a genuinely hilarious turn of events, the Carlton captain clinched a Brownlow Medal with something called a "best on ground" performance in the round 23 loss that cost his team a finals berth. I can't think of a more fitting way for modern Carlton to crown their latest Brownlow Medallist than by him being a season-ending loser the day he received the Brownlow-winning votes.

He won by one vote, too - if we were inclined to be cruel about Carlton, we might even say that he got that extra point Carlton couldn't.

[Jezza]

^ That's brilliant, P4S

You've cheered me up.

[Pies4shaw]

Pleased to be of some utility, Jezza.

Stiff upper lip - these pricks are still coming - and from a very, very long way back.

Imagine having more Brownlow Medallists than top-4 finishes so far this century.

[Jezza]

Carlton bottle it again in a close match

[Philthypie]

What could possibly be better to watch in round 1 of the season than Carlton ripping up the win in the last 30 seconds? How about Richmond blowing it as well! 2 losses for the price of one. Priceless !!

[Jezza]

TankingCarlton...

That was just a truly unenjoyable game of footy to watch.

Same shit... at least we won't miss the finals due to poor %

Other years revisited.

Lapse, especially after a break
Point kicking when on top, then the opposition get one

Give up a lead in the last seconds.

Only difference is we didn't lose. Didn't win but didn't lose. Felt like we blew 2pts.

That was so hard to watch. Barely had a single good passage of play all game. 1-2 possessions then a fumble, dropped mark, missed kick etc or a long bomb to a contest and usually to Richmond’s advantage.

Couldn’t play much worse if there was no coach and they just went out there and did whatever they want

Bloody McKay falls over too many times. And O’brien had so much space. Of course we didnt have anyone else forward as Vossy was telling them to all go back. Arghhhhhhh we should have beaten this mob.

Haven’t lost a rd 1 game in 2 years…

Hang on, hang on - in the last 7 minutes, didn’t we do EXACTLY what cost us the last 2 games last year?

Lack of composure.
Sloppy passes in the backline to teammates in poor position.
Fumbles at the worst possible moments.
Outmuscled at ruck contests.

Perish the thought but I think we might bear these scars for some time.

So many emotions, mostly negative.

Didn’t think we played well at all. So will take the draw.

But again we didn’t win a game that we should have. Absolutely no composure at all.

More questions than answers after that performance.

Not sure we can take much out of that other than 2 points. I am not sure I saw any evidence of an improved game plan. And the players still lost their heads late when the game was close.

I don't think this list has the mental fortitude let alone skill to be a good side.

I thought Acres was supposed to be a good player. He was rubbish.

I can see why they picked the 2 kids

Bec they know there are so many mentally weak players on the list

There's nowhere to hide

It's genuinely hard to see this list going anywhere special

How was Saads weak as piss kick off the ground? He's supposed to be one of our best players. But then he does that. Gifts them a goal. In a low scoring game.

The lack of leadership at this club is incredible

Bunch of losers

Ultimately it was two dropped uncontested marks that cost us the game.
1 in the first minute
1 in the final seconds

This club needs to hire the best psychologist that has ever come out of Harvard University.

[Jezza]

BigFooty (Carlton)...

Filthy. But for McKay slipping right the * over - and the kick still being good enough to ******* hit him - we'd have won that.

Well, that sucks.

Should have taken our chances.

Need to do more than hold a dumb power sign up to close down games

Coach. Sign. Shut it down.

LOB: Lololololol let's go for a huge run and turnover.

Get ****ed.
absolute *en crap.
Dumbest players in history of sport.

Pathetic. These guys are embarrassing.

Need an enquiry into how this list has us with such a poor cap situation.

Too many average players overpaid can be the only reason.

I don't like football

Probably lucky to draw, lucky not to lose, but unlucky not to win.

Weird game..

That was ours and we lost it. Have we even worked on how to close out a game? So disappointed.

It appears we achieved absolutely nothing in the off season other than somehow making a worse game plan.

Diabolical.

So disappointed

Have not learned anything from last year.

Still s**t the bed when he pressure is on.

Wash the f@cken soap off your hands boys. Fumble central!!!

We are way past the point of embarrassing with these close games.

An entire preseason to work on how to close out a game, and that was probably the worst of the last three.

Dump kicks everywhere. This is Ross Lyon crap. Why can't we work it out like Geelong.

Michael Voss Day 1 of Preseason: “Put everything that happened in Round 22 and 23 out of your minds.”

Team: “Okay, Boss!“

Pressure......Carlton can't handle it.

Feels like the same old, I had the sinking feeling when they held up that stupid stop button sign with 3 minutes to go.

Wow what a shocking game, absolute s**t show of falling over, 1/2 baked handballs and fumbles.

Chip, Chip, Fumble. We can't hold a lead for s**t in the dying minutes. Why does it seem we always play scared? Sick of this trying to shut the game down with 5 minutes left s**t.

That is not a team playing finals. Very disappointed. Gelong might rip us a new one....

Just no composure. We can not handle the big moments.

Another comical finish…sigh

That period of play where we were jogging around the full back line trying to look cool making simple errors and putting ourselves under pressure was pure embarrassment.

Whatever we worked on in preseason has just made our late game mental issues worse not better.

We need a team of psychologists- or maybe an exorcist at this point but the mental toughness needed to be a good team is just miles off.

like watching an ugly fight between two homeless people for a sandwich

Sigh, just like dancing with your sister

[think better]

No matter what's happening at Collingwood this always brings a smile to my face

[piedys]

BigFooty (Carlton)...

Filthy. But for McKay slipping right the * over - and the kick still being good enough to ******* hit him - we'd have won that.

Need to do more than hold a dumb power sign up to close down games

Coach. Sign. Shut it down.

LOB: Lololololol let's go for a huge run and turnover.

I don't like football

Unless that power sign was the on button for "play like panicked imbeciles" mode it didn't work.

Burn immediately.

No seriously - these guys kill me!

A selection of my fav chockys from last night....

[What'sinaname]

Warming up!!!!

[Jezza]

Here we go...

[Pies4shaw]

Can't wait!

[Jezza]

TankingCarlton...

This is so disheartening.
You have to wonder if we will ever get there.

I bet there are Carlton supporters who believe this is an aberration

It isn’t

This team is not good enough

Plowman and Ed Curnow still playing in our senior team says it all

I really feel for the supporters who travelled only to witness this crap.

They should feel privileged to have seen it live

All at sea. Voss is looking like another false prophet

56 points.
Pathetic.

Shithouse

Thank goodness that is over.

We really drew the short straw in this round.

I think I'd rather lose by 1 point to colon in last round. Absolute spewtastic

So depressing.

We’re miles off contending. Not sure where to from here

Pretenders until we prove otherwise. Not holding my breath that we will.

That was an epic fail on all accounts. Absolutely putrid.

This was coming

Our performances prior to tonight have been camoflagued by individual performances

In one game our percentage is now below 100. Need to win big when we have the chance. The draw want save us as there will be another this year…. So we will be competing with at least 3 teams for the 9th spot.

9th spot is where you rightfully belong.

Picked a dud coach. Nothing else matters

Insipid performance

We have been jumping on the same spot for 8 years

This malarkey about a 66 game rebuild, premiership by 2027, yada yada yada

Can’t remember making any meaningful progress since Bolton became our coach

All this crap hype after beating the wooden spooners North Melbourne. How embarrassing.

Watch Voss try to spin some positives. Us Carlton supporters so desperate for a modicum of success will fall for it like a moth to a flame.

We have missed the boat.

Not surprised at all, some were giving high fives because we were 2nd on the ladder, anyone that knows a little about footy would know we have not been convincing at all this year. We are average at the moment:

Stoppages are meant to be our strength. Last year we won games on the back of that alone.
How can we be so bad this year with the same personnel?

Just looked out of sorts all night. Looked more than a little unsettled by 4 changes to the squad.

So many panic kicks without looking. FFS Acres set the scene with that kick out of mid air in the 1st. Worked his way into the game but come on Blake.

Too many players either faded in & out, or just had shockers. Fisher & honey very little influence again.

And we've done the old Carlton thing of sending 2 players to tackle, leaving a man free. All night

Crows were good, credit to them. Looked a bit like us early last year at times.

10 day break before the Saints isn't it? We'll need it to debrief that shit.

Stagnant and lacking run and support. Worst effort I have seen in a long time.Midfield absolutely owned

I fear the Saints will also touch us up next week. Marvel is smaller so we might be able to contain them better but they look too slick and play with intensity that we don’t seem to have.

Looking at our draw will be lucky to win 2 games out of our next 7

We look completely lost at kick outs. Bomb to the same wing of right side every time.

Then defending kickouts we get picked apart. If we make a contest we can’t stick a tackle.

Just incredibly depressed we are still this bad after so many years.

Cant believe all the hype just because we were 2nd on the ladder. Anyone that knows anything about football would know that we have many flaws and were ripe for the picking.

My wife tells me off for yelling at Plowman, tells me I'm a bad Carlton fan. I should be supporting the players, she says.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

It's still got me flowered how we always have a clogged forward line and the opposition does not. Dear coaches. Please sort out

Before the game, they put up our average losing margin at Adelaide oval was 65 points.
Did nothing to better that.
All game, they flicked it out the back of the stoppages and have 2 or 3 players waiting for it.
We get brushed aside when we tackle
We give away stupid frees at the wrong time
We have no one in the midfield who can hit up a forward
We panic when the ball goes inside 50
We have to many players playing for themselves
Crows had 14 players under the age of 22
Poor coaching
Poor conditioning
We are too physically small and slow

Where to from here is the question
There is nothing in reserves coming through

Its a completely unacceptable loss but one that is not totally unexpected.

The chorus of a multitude of people cheering about being "undefeated" till now.

Thats all well and good and I was happy to "bank" wins when we were clearly playing below average to average football and generally limped over the line in the last few games - especially against North, who we should have belted to kingdom come but failed dismally.

The problem with just limping over the line, but winning is that it does not instill confidence nor belief that you and your team are really contenders to at least make the 8 and play a finals if not more.

Not 100% sure that Voss is the right fit for Carlton failed first time around at lions
and I think the same is going to happen here as well
Take a look at Collingwood success in appointing coaches they nail it every time

[Jezza]

BigFooty (Carlton)...

Panic!

Sack em all!

Absolutely diabolical. We should not be losing by nine goals to the Crows.

9 goal loss... bloody Adelaide home advantage..

Our best team in years and we don’t even turn up to play. Disgraceful effort!

[stui magpie]

I quite enjoyed reading that, thank you.