Laugh at Carlscum thread

[MagpieBat]

And while we are shit and play plodders like Carrazo, Curnow etc we don't even learn if a boekhurst or rainbow or some other unknown is a footballer or not. Same old shit every year, same shit development etc etc etc etc

I wonder if Kennedy will ever perform like this in a big game

Seriously, if the commentators mention the Judd/Kennedy trade one more time i will smash something.

So, people, who do you think won the Judd/Kennedy trade?



Your move, Cro-Magnon.

what I can't believe is our drafting strategy over the last few years (Thomas WTF)

that is what is frustrating me the most

when in hell are we going to start our rebuild

still in f$%%%k'n limbo after all these years

hang your head in shame Carlton

I can't recall worse commentators

I can't recall worse players...

The most insipid club going round.. Apart from Judd we have nothing

Post match comments from grro might lighten the pain.

Almost unwathchable................trouble is with our gameplan is the opposition know it better than our own players.An injury riddled depleated WCoast are picking us off with ease.They know exactly what were gonna do unlike our own players who are nonplussed and totally confused.Criticism of Jones and Tutt...........you are joking arent you ? Jones is 6ft 5inches,Tutt has pace to burn.What the eff ? they have come to our club and we have taken these two guys from a couple of middle roaders to deplorable ..........what the eff is going on ?

Murphy is worse than Selwood re ducking.

Haven't seen much.
Orthodox good Friday.
Just looked in now and enjoying the game and commentators.
This is a game against a team that will finish bottom few and we got pantsed.
This year will put the spotlight on everybody at our club.
It's exactly what's needed.

Percentage killer.

Don't worry, we're going to bounce back after some shrink counsels the footballing ability this list supposedly has in their unconscious mind.

I dunno why people are getting upset...

NEITHER DO I!!!

We sold our soul for Judd and we didn't have to...but weak poker players led us to this.

It's not MM.
It's the legacy of Elliot ...who pressured Parkin, and Brittain ....of course easy fixes were continued with Pagan and Ratten to save face...a directive of the board.

MM is not the problem.

We have at least 10 very good young kids, 10 very good players and we need 10 more players.

The problem is not Bell Jansch Everitt.... It's what the new brigade pre Judd we inherited...IMO...


We can still win this......it's Orthodox Easter....maybe we need to do a few things Orthodox ...but in a footy was asked the kids if they want to support the Swans and they said 'no way '. I asked again if it's because of me...and no change.

Mum has taken the kids away.

I've been spoilt since 68, my kids will stick fat but a lot are going to be fed up and leave after this.

I have hope we can turn this around but can we make a final change....to the board?
Elilot was exposed for our position.
Can we do the same to thoe board members who did the same?
They've hirt us...not Bell and Judd and Simmo...the hard workers....it's the others in the guts and the past....

I'll be back next week, but not attending anymore. It's too hard.

This club neefs a "line in the sand game". Dont care if they all cop a month. So insipid

Do we have any kids to play next week?

..so few players with four quarter effort.. ..crap team culture for years and years, and anyone talking up any of our so called leaders are desperados.. ..best of the sorry lot we have, but not good enough to turn this sinking Ship around.. ..team ethics are rotten..

This next guy on the Judd thing...

...probably stopped Collingwood from getting him.

How's that working out for you?

Does Hendo ever take a one grab mark?

Stars aligning.

In response to the question about their kids...

21 year old volleyballer might get a run.

Although I think he needs a few years to develop.

Probably too busy shit-canning your lot on Twitter. He's good at that...

I dint know anymore

What, how to spell?

Stuff the record. Malthouse has to go. Tonight.

This.

SO. MUCH. THIS!!!

And on the whole thing about getting upset...

Good point. The players won't. They'll get back to Melbourne and switch on to their clothing lines, golf rounds etc.

Judd cooked. So is Mick.

Yep.

Like... SAUSAGES!

[qldmagpie67]

I think this thread should be given its own header such
The place we come to feel better when we are suffering depression

[perthmagpie]

Thank you Carlton and MagpieBat. Tomorrow I will get up earlier than usual, go for a brisk walk, only take half of my Prozac and cancel my therapy session. The world is a wonderful place!

[Stupied]

Judd blitzed the first quarter with 12 disposals. Was in it up to his eyeballs. Cooked himself and only managed 7 more for the game. Coincidentally, the scum dropped off after quarter time.

They are so screwed when old man Judd calls it a day at the end of the year lol

[MagpieBat]

noone comes across as upset.

Murphy should be dropped.

Deplorable lack of effort.

Can't stick a tackle.

..we'll knee jerk, sharpen some knives and scapegoat somebody.. ..this club needs a full clean out from top down, but that won't happen..

Seems like the players don't want the record, I know we aren't that good but something looks seriously wrong in terms of spirit.

So which carlton player isn't useless? Its a tough question. Except judd of course.

I think we're gonna need a bigger shrink.

And to think this us supposed to be the good 50% of the list that MM kept.

You get the feeling the club has been building towards the performance tonight for a while. It's a build up of years of ineptitude.

Is it over yet?

I'm just hate watching this now.

I'm just LOVING watching this now!

No skill. No strength. No Fitness. No Brains. No Heart.

AND THAT'S JUST YOU!

The plodding midfield

Second week in a row we have been flogged by someone running hard from HB and getting 40 metres clear to run into an open goal.

I see lots of people giving well-reasoned arguments for why MM is actually good (or at least not bad) for Carlton, but I reckon you're over-thinking things. I'm finding myself more and more in the "if it looks like a turd, and smells like a turd..." camp. I don't care to rationalise and sugar-coat any more. All I know is that when Ratten was here our team was an exciting, attacking unit that was never out of the game and could destroy an opponent in a ten-minute barrage. Ever since Malthouse came along we have become a dire, clueless mob who go half an hour without even looking like getting into our forward half. It is been an unmitigated disaster, and the club is in its worst state during my 38 years on this earth... yes, I am including the early 00's because we all knew that would only be temporary. The current shitstorm has at least another 15 years left in it. No light, only tunnel. Jesus @#$%&! Christ.

Rather lose by 10 goals week in week out playing kids. Drop players like Carazzo, Rowe, Ellard, army, etc.
Drop murph for a fortnight too.

I'm an apathetic supporter

IF MM TAKES HIS STATS SHEET TO THE PRESSER, HE IS A TOTAL !@#$WIT.

WE ARE SO SHIT! I wish this club would fold now and spare us more heartache!

We can move the ball from one side of the ground to the other with incredible ease.

I think we need to start holding the ball up with 5mins to go in the qtr after a mark

You know, it's not the losses, it's the fact that you can see exactly why it's happening. This year the straw has finally found the back of a camel.

This is Madhouse football ... OUT COACHED by a ROOKIE.

The day we sacked Ratten for Madhouse was a black day.

People please help me , I don't know how to feel , do I now want us to get beaten every week so the club will have a good look at itself and finally do something . Or do I still cheer the Navy Blue jumper to win

@#$%&! me

Thank goodness that is over.
What do we expect when we give away all of our leading goalkickers?

We outscored the ex-Blue.

Well that was a Jekyll and Hyde performance

Patience guys. Mick is moulding a team that will win finals. Just need to get rid of some dead wood.

Keep telling yourself that...

Kill me

As you wish...

JK was alright.

Not bad. Gave it our all. Never gave up. Better luck next week.

Flashbacks to 2003...an abject disgrace

AN ABSOLUTE DELIGHT!

Imagine a forward line of Kennedy, Betts, Waite and Garlett.
Oh, wait. :banghead:

One more time:


IF MM TAKES HIS STATS SHEET TO THE PRESSER, HE IS A TOTAL !@#$WIT.

Watson
Bootsma
Russell
Bower
Hampson
Lucas
Grigg

All guys that should be in the team leading the charge into finals football.

And don't forget Kennedy!

How low can we go?

Dunno. Ask me in 2 weeks time...

Pretty much as expected...

Yep...

[Jezza]

BigFooty Posts on Carlton's Board!

I can't confidently say we are better than any side at the moment. Embarrassed.

Well, we beat Josh Kennedy by a point, so there's that.

Congratulations on a fine achievement!

sakc mikc

Enjoy Madhouse!

This will be the best fred eva...

Absolutely...

**** this team.

I want to stay the course with mick but the pressure on him is going to be huge now.

Mick to miss his milestone!

We see more fight from Mick against Mark Stevens

Long year ahead.

Long century...

We lost by 69 points. Don't think it would have mattered if they gave the Eagles 0 free kicks. Absolutely ordinary.

The worst part of this for me is that we went through absolute shit for the better part of a decade and as we're about to hit rock bottom again the best we were able to show for it all was a semi-final appearance.

We didn't even get a taste of success, and a generation of Carlton fans are wondering why the **** they picked this side.

The thing people have to realise is that just because someone says the coaching isn't up to it doesn't mean they are saying the players are.
The actually problem, and the reason why we're looking so insipid this year imo, is that it's both.

Take an ordinary list ... and then play to their weaknesses.

that's what it feels like anyway.

Not a chance i'm going to the MCG next week. No chance at all.

Bandwagoner ALERT!

Oh Boy......WoWeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I see it now, we are dead set just shit.

Glad you ascertained that...

We can't run, defend or kick a score. There the absolute fundamentals of football.

Apparently we had the fittest / least injury prone / surgery ridden off season in years.

Wow, just wow

WOW...It was brilliant

Soft as ******* butter.

Show me one player not named Chris Judd or Kade Simpson that wants it bad enough that it visibly ******* burns them.

Show me one player who wants to play for Mick Malthouse. You can have the greatest legacy of alltime but if your cubs don't want to play for you it doesn't matter who the **** you are.

Sheer and utter embarrassment.

This rabble is bleeding me dry. What do I get out of them anymore?

**** **** ***** *****

****

It's time for all Blues members, fans & supporters to send some really strong messages back to the club that we are not prepared to take this crap any more. Having poor attendances at matches would be a good start.

Healy just listed about 10 players who didn't play for the Eagles tonight lol we got beaten by the WAFL team

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Looking back 20 years ago I read the paper during the third quarter of the granny. Was just waiting for the presentation.

Never thought this was what was in store.

I'm just embarrassed by that effort. Any bloke who is willing to bleed for the club needs to be in our team for the rest of the year. If Dylan Buckley isn't named next week I'll be livid.

I will be interested to hear what MM has to say.

I just cant see any upside for this list.

So so so so so so so so forking mad!

We are nowhere.

So so so so so so so so forking happy!

Okay. I'm conflicted. I hate when supporters ditch their team when they need their members the most, but I feel like the club is just going through the motions. So why should I turn up next week? If they're going to dish this shit up against Essendon I will puke.

Buffident or whatever his name is has to. Know someone at Collingwood who said he was absolutely rubbish, and it appears we aren't physically up to it at all.

Hope you're enjoying Butters!

Posted this on the main board but it deserves mention here as well

Carlton in 1st terms in 2015 - 10.8.68
Opposition - 6.4.40

After quarter time: 9.12.66
Opposition - 29.22.196

Two completely different sides either side of that quarter time huddle

Seriously I've never been as disappointed as this about this club before. Doubt I'll watch any other game live for the rest of the year and I don't give a rats who we put on the trade table.

I am depressed

I am happy

[swoop42]

An admirable effort by the scum tonight over in the west.

To beat Kennedy by 1pt was a win for the ages.

[Jezza]

More posts!

So shattered now, I wasn't in favour of a re-build but I don't think we have an option. There's no coming back from here for a long time.

Josh Kennedy for the spoon.

hmmmmmm. players out are stars, players in are lazy... still can't teach one dude how to kick. butter crap has us 1 qtr wonders. seems we are a retirement home?

Geez, I honestly don't know what to say other than that was totally embarrassing.

Said it all week and I'll say it again, We need someone and something new to take us fwd, Mick is done, seriously!! Over this crap, 20 bloody years...

VOTE 1! Keep Madhouse!

Absolutely disgusting effort, by the coaching staff and the players, no excuses for preseason injuries and surgeries and we still produce this s***.

Carlton Football Club, one club, one tribe, one joke

Yeah I'm angry but seriously something stinks

Just waiting for Mick's presser before going to bed. I either want him to kill mark stevens, or ignore him.

The Blues only went inside 50 33 times for the night their equal third fewest in any game across the past 10 seasons.

Bad luck Docherty... Chose to come to the wrong team boy!

Sure did! Would have been better off staying with the Brions!

I don't know what to say about that crap..

And it will probably get worse. Can see the Drug Cheats smashing as us next week.

soft, heartless, pathetic.

Sums up Carlton perfectly! Well-said

Just signed up to this forum, but have been constantly reading over the threads for some time, but i thought i need to vent!

WHAT THE ****

We're 5 years away at the shortest. Our list is a disaster borderline VFL list. Our absence from the national draft over the last 10 years is killing us now.

Time to start the rebuild... again.

I can honestly say I've never been more ******* embarrassed by this terrible excuse of a football club.

We carry far too many passengers with a terrible, terrible game plan.

Malthouse needs to go. They've had all off season to train and the best we can come up with his not scoring goals for 60 mins each game? Nope, sorry not ******* good enough.

Fortunately I was at church tonight for Greek easter and missed that terrible performance.

Very depressing reading the comments here.

Thank God we dropped Cripps so we wouldn't get smashed.

I think we have just about hit basket case status

Very observant of you

Feel devestated. Was at the game. Dont know how we lost. Eagles are embarassingly bad. They cant hit a target. Unfortuantely they just had the loose balls go their way, had the umpires go there way and had a freak called JKennedy at full forward.
Wrecked

Someone take Blaine Boekhorst's mobile phone away from him NOW!!!

BRILLIANT!

Does anyone still think giving away Robinson and Garlett and getting Jones and Tutt was a win for us..

Huge win!

He'll mumble something about how well we played in the first quarter - winning clearances, inside 50's etc.. take off his glasses and look at the stats sheet and ask and answer his own question. Then he'll say it all stopped for the next 3 quarters, we had fewer clearances, inside 50's, if you're second to the ball and can't get the ball to your forwards how can you kick a score.

Mark Murphy the worst captain i have ever seen at Carlton. No influence at all as a leader.

To see him having a laugh and chat with an eagles player after the siren made my blood boil.

LOVE IT!

[MagpieBat]

Honestly, where do we even go from here? This is the first time I've actually had no idea what the club should do next.

Bankruptcy court might be a goer...

Well ... we sacked a coach that took us from bottom to 5th ... and replaced him this. A dumb decision has now turned into a disaster.

OUT COACHED by a rookie.

Playing a game style that has no hope of matching modern day football

A team that is clearly not playing for their coach or club.

PATHETIC! :banghead: :hitcomputer: :banghead:

This is a minor blip. They're not that good! and we're not that bad!

We'll bounce back. We always do!

We are Carlton and @#$%&! the rest!

De. Lusional.

I'm speechless

I'm not.

Accept exactly where we are and embrace it.

On the positive side, we didn't waste a trip to Arizona.

Clouds and silver linings...

Have to avoid all football goers. It was ugly enough last week.

Play kids. Swap captains. Rebuild starts now. Don't know if I can watch the season out, going to be painful

But hey, at least we're not a bunch of front-runners like we were under Ratten, right? Those were depressing times, weren't they!

In response to the Arizona guy...

Yea ... but we have wasted the last 3 years.

And again...

The negative being that we gave up an opportunity to accidentally leave a few over there.

People can identify the coach as the problem, and there's plenty of ammunition right now, but our troubles go deeper than that. A change of coach won't get any instant results.

Have to wonder then why you sacked the last guy, if that's the case...

And in response to the Ratten guy...

Yup. Seriously, they were the worst of times. No light at the end of the tunnel. Prefer the Malthouse/Pagan eras. So much to think about.

we are a realistic chance for the spoon. Awful.

WONDERFUL!

..not a captain to be found anywhere out there.... ..lots of consolation in the rooms I bet, but no hard truths offered.. ..and no culture change on the horizon.. ..sure, change coach, we might have a honeymoon period that lasts a few weeks.. ..but the fragile lazy team will shine through.. ..one way midfield for a decade, won't stop anytime soon.. ..any kids with promise on our list won't develop well here.. ..you can already see more negative traits in menzel's game than what he came to us with....

Who would seriously want to coach this mob?

Yep play ALL our kids.

Whatever happened to last year's habit of kicking a bagful in the last quarter to paper over the cracks and create false hope for the following week? Can't they even do that for us any more? Are the players suffering from Essendon-got-away-with-it apathy too?

On Malthouse...

The nuff nuffs got what they wanted.

Looking forward to an entertaining press conference. Hope the journos work him over.

Come on guys, all coffee served with a minimum of 5 sugars.

Coffee being served at the BBQ as well?

Welcome, Denis Malthouse.

I can rant , however I won't , as this is the first time I feel genuine pain following this club. I now fear for our future

I don't.

Michael Jordan's Secret Stuff couldn't help this list.

Neither could any amount of time spent on a leather couch.

SPACE JAM REFERENCE!

Ha, love it!

A dumb decision that has turned to DISASTER!

Which one?

Sugar, come on guys where are you all.

The ardent Malthouse supporters are changing tune at a rapid pace, hoping we don't notice.

Bring back the big Fev!
Football has never been the same since.

It won't solve everything, but no one can still deny that MM has made the current mob a lot, lot worse than they were before his arrival. So there's no reason to think someone else couldn't reverse the trend somewhat.

Well ... all those who wanted the Madhouse ... you got what you paid for ... He certainly turned the club around.

..this club is a wank, worried about how MM is with the public.. ..yeah, that's the issue..

Best Players
Judd Simpson Tuohy
Shut down Judd and we don't have any other drivers out of the middle.

When in doubt, post loll.

Excellent strategy.

Certainly a better one than whatever it was that Malthouse came to tonight with...



And speaking of which...

He is a madman who drinks his own bathwater.

He needs to go at the end of the season. No point doing it now.

So who's the hot tip for No. 1 in the draft this year. Probably a ruckman

For the first time in my life I cannot even bear to look at my team anymore. There is no desire, nobody wants to run to make position, everyone wants the easy ball and too many players are way to slow. What a disaster our recruiting has been. SOS has a hell a lot of work to do. Let's forget about picking up rejects i.e Jones etc. and at least play some kids. really have been disappointed with murthy and Gibbs. No care factor shown. If the club resigns Malthouse heaven forbid. We will be wooden spooners by far.

SoS will continue the rot

Hopefully.

Peahearts: Murphy, Gibbs,

Plodders: Curnow, Carrazo, bell, Rowe, ellard, tutt, jones, white, wood, casboult,

Core: Henderson, Doherty, Yarran, Menzel, tuohy, Everett,

Cooked or medium to well: Juddy, Simpson, Jamison,

Fair way to go to even have a decent core from that team.

We got him to win us a premiership...here comes a spoon.

Oops...

And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, I bid you adieu.

[Jezza]

[swoop42]

The only thing better than seeing Malthouse sacked would be to see Voss appointed the new coach.

They are dumb enough to do it.

[perthmagpie]

This is Mick's team now. Well done Mick. Glad to see Carlton let you make recruiting decisions! This new team of yours looks so good on paper. The forward power is amazing. The skills across the board sublime. The leadership coming through is outstanding. The promising youth is a joy to behold. Brilliant how your team does not rely on the oldest two or three players to do all the work. The future is bright and the direction is clear. I love the way guys like Curnow, Rowe, Ellard, Tutt, Armfield, Jones, Carrazzo, Wood, Warnock and White are pushing towards All Australian. Remarkable coaching.

[MagpieBat]

The only thing better than seeing Malthouse sacked would be to see Voss appointed the new coach.

They are dumb enough to do it.

That rumour actually is doing the rounds at the moment, swoop.

Could very well happen...

[partypie]

When I first saw Carlton's guernsey tonight I was reminded of Kim Kardashian's hideous wedding dress, with the bib thing happening

[Piesnchess]

and to think the dumb, imbecilic morons could have had a pretty decent forward line of Kennedy, waite, betts, garlett, and yet they dumped them all. LOL.